#i think if it were expensive i'd be more stubborn about sticking it out

[thepoisonroom]

really dangerous for me to learn the value of quitting right before starting grad school

[bexalex]

"fuck!" more than anything, jindallae's shove surprises alex, who nearly spills his drink as his arm is jostled from the impact. he stumbles but he's not so drunk that he completely loses his footing, righting himself easily enough and fixing his friend with a scowl before shoving him back. he's sure that his 'attack' wasn't half as effective, it was somewhat half-hearted to begin with, but what sort of man would alex be if he simply let himself be pushed around? "you spilled half my drink, you owe me a new one." he swaps hands holding the cup and flicks his wrist out, trying to get some of the beer off of his fingertips. is he actually mad? maybe a little, more annoyed than anything. but not enough to really do anything about it.

he rolls his eyes at jindallae's assertions; alex is not nearly as domineering as his friend is, but he's stubborn enough that he knows that they're inherently incompatible in what they both want out of a physical relationship. no one, not even jindallae, has been so physically tempting that alex has considered that he'd enjoy trading out his usual role. "sure you could," he shakes his head, obviously sarcastic. "maybe i'd believe you if i was ugly or something. i'll just go down in history as the only man you were never able to take to bed." he's mostly joking; alex is sure that there's others who could claim the same title. but he just talks sometimes, even more so when he's drinking. "good to know, though. i'll be sure to call you at three in the morning next time i'm hungry after staying up way too late. you'll really appreciate that." he snorts at the thought, picturing a disheveled jindallae answering his phone in the middle of the night after being roused from a deep sleep. maybe he will actually do that someday.

"are you gonna have the same conversation with ren about me?" jindallae asks, and alex actually takes this question seriously as he pauses to think about it. "you're both good friends to me," he agrees, sticking to facts before he develops the 'what if' situation. "but you're also different people. i'm not saying he's better than you or anything like that, but sometimes being different means you hurt someone. maybe by accident." his mind flickers elsewhere; he had been different, wanted something different, and been hurt because of it. does he blame the person? no, never. even now, he still wants more than he should have ever dared to hope for. but the differences between them had ultimately proved too much to compromise on.

"maybe i should warn him not to be an ass though," alex admits, "he's kinda got this way of speaking that just makes you feel bad sometimes. you can't let it get to you." he's learned how to handle it over time; he just hopes that the surprisingly sensitive jindallae doesn't blow a fuse or something because of it.

alex sighs, accepting the joking at his own expense even though he resents it. he elbows jindallae again, half-hearted in his retaliation. "yeah," he admits, lips falling into a soft frown. "same guy. i know you think it's stupid." he doesn't know if his friend actually thinks that but he doesn't really hope for any more sympathy after it's been so long since the split. "i don't know. hopefully just say hi, chat a bit, and move on to something else. i hope."

the difference in their levels of sobriety has become pretty obvious, and each time alex speaks, jindallae can tell that his speech is more slurred, and his train of thought is getting derailed more frequently. it’s not something that he minds, per se, but being that he’s nowhere near that level yet, it’s more tedious to keep up with the conversation than it is for him to digest every word. that, and well, at this point in their friendship, it’s gotten easy to completely tune alex out when necessary. it’s not that he wants to be rude to his friend, but at times, some of the shit he says is more grating and facetious than it is sensical and sound. however, not wanting to direct his attention elsewhere just yet, he nods along to alex’s words, and even finds himself laughing at them. alex can be annoying, but jindallae will never deny that he isn’t funny and entertaining. if anything, that element about him is what’s caused him to keep his fists to himself. there’s been plenty of time where a swift right hook to the jaw would’ve been an appropriate retaliation for the bullshit alex spills, but being that he loves him too much, jin’s chosen not to meet his smug remarks with violence.

instead, he rolls his eyes at him and pushes him; a firm palm ramming against alex’s bicep to see if he stumbles at all. if he can’t even remain mostly upright, then jindallae knows it’s likely time to find him a ride home. “honestly, if i really wanted to fuck you, i already would’ve—and could’ve—by now.” he taunts, his signature devilish smirk tugging at one corner of his mouth. the fact that the two of them haven’t slept together is largely what keeps their camaraderie in a good place, and he can recognize that, even if he does think alex is incredibly hot. “if you ever need or want food though, you can always come over. you know that, right? the restaurant, and my place, are always open for you. you just gotta let me know you’re on your way.”

he’s taken to feeding a lot of his friends. money’s hard to come by for everyone lately, and if there’s one thing he can do to help them out, it’s making sure their bellies are full. however, as their talk veers back into the realm of prospective romances, and ren, jindallae begrudgingly listens to what he’s being told. “yeah, but tell me this,” he begins, looking over to alex. “i’m supposedly one of your best friends, right? are you gonna have the same conversation with ren about me?” he’s not an idiot, he knows what the answer is, so the question is mostly rhetorical. alex will probably try and find a way to respond though. “i’m not mad that you’re worrying about him, i’m mad that, regardless of who i’m interested in, i’m always the villain. i’m always the fuck-up.”

then, when alex tells him that he has an ex that’s set to arrive shortly and doesn’t want to make bad decisions, jindallae laughs in his face. “you? bad ‘drunk’ decisions? i didn’t think you were capable...” he quips; condescending. “are you still fucked up over the same guy, or is it someone else now? what do you think you’re gonna do?”

[anime-husbando-headcanons]

i saw u already did kuzan for when he was in the marines (very good btw) and was just wondering could u maybe do some more but for after his fight with akainu/when he’s left the marines????????

Thank you so much! :) And sure thing! (Also, there are so many possibilities to this, like if the reader was a marine, civilian, pirate, if they already knew him before the fight with Akainu or only met him afterwards, so i stuck with Marine!Reader that was already in a relationship with Kuzan, enjoy!)

Aokiji HCs post “retirement”:

The days he stayed away from you, fighting Akainu, were torture. You waited ten excruciatingly long days, until the news finally reached you, almost immediately after the fight ended. He had lost.

You were already docking your boat at Punk Hazard, being met with smoldering heat at one side and freezing cold in the other. Your mind quickly thought the worst, but you’d been told Akainu spared Aokiji’s life, so you searched for him.

You almost cried with relief when you saw him. Sure, he was bloody and burnt and missing a leg, but he was alive, and conscious. When you show up to help patch him up he is surprised to see you, but before he can protest you’re already carrying him to your boat.

Once he recovers a bit of energy, he starts to speak, with seriousness clear in his tone.

He doesn’t want you to get involved in this, he’s leaving the marines, and knows the path he’s taking might turn him into an enemy of the government. You shouldn’t throw your whole career away because of him, helping him will only get you in trouble.

That’s why he’s so unusually emotional when you say you’ll leave the marines too, and run away with him. What he feels is not exactly anger, more like frustration. He is about to scold you, to tell you to just forget about him and go back to your job, that really, he’s not worth the hassle…

…Until he finally turns to face you.

Then he sees the expression on your face, and the glistening tears pooling at your eyes as you say:

“I’d rather quit than work under that man!!! I'd… i’d quit if it meant being with you, Kuzan. I’m not going anywhere, and you better get used to it!”

He almost smiles, secretly happy at the choice you made, closing his eyes with a sigh.

“Ara, ara… I always knew you were a stubborn one, and i did my part to warn you, but… If that’s what you want, then i won’t stop you.”

He apologizes deeply for making you worry, with you hugging him tight, and he only hopes you won’t regret sticking by him. He’ll do his best to make sure you won’t.

This turned out a bit heavy, huh? Now how about some lighter stuff to balance it out!

Camel! The penguin! He loves you. He’s very cute, despite him not liking being told that. You and Kuzan love to sleep next to the big bird. 

Sometimes Kuzan gets jealous of all the attention Camel gives you, and pouts quietly until you give him a little kiss.

I don’t think Kuzan would be too self-conscious about his scars, he might even make some jokes at his own expense.

He probably becomes much more appreciative of you after this whole incident. Not like he didn’t appreciate you before, it’s just that now he saw the true extent of your love for him, so he makes an extra effort to show his love for you too.

Since he doesn’t have to worry about his job anymore, you two spend a lot more time together, and you’re always traveling between different islands. He says it’s like a vacation.

But you still need money to live, so i imagine you’d set up a little outdoors shop at every village you pass. What would you sell? Probably some miscellaneous stuff you’ve gathered during your travels… or ice cream. I bet Kuzan’s powers would help making those.

Despite everything, i think your lives become much more fun after leaving the Marines.

[shibalen]

[1/3]🍁Hello! I'd love a [ 𑁍 ] and [ ♫︎ ] matchup for Hetalia! I'm a Virgo, INFJ, she/her, and if you'd like you may call me Lilly! I'm very shy, reserved, and awkward when approaching new people, frankly judgemental with them. First impressions are sort of everything to me. So if I have an idea about someone, it sticks. It'll take a bit to convince me otherwise. I don't trust easily, I'm very stubborn. I have anxiety, and tend to fidget when in uncomfortable situations.

[2/3]🍁Once I've found someone I can trust or I even feel is worth of my time as a friend or otherwise, I cherish completely. I'm very protective over the people I care about, I do anything in my power to accommodate them if I can and do my best to provide advice whenever they need it. I'm the 'mom' friend. Once someone truly gets to know me I break more so out of my shell, I'm much more bold and open. Intense some may say. I can get pretty chaotic when I'm 100% in my element.

[3/3]🍁I'm pretty affectionate with those I let into my life.I hate PDA, I hate being touched in public,or without permission.I most definitely hate pet names like 'babe' or 'baby' it makes me very uncomfortable,though 'darling' or 'dear' is much more acceptable to me.I love to joke with people,though I have a very strange sense of humor.I am a little needy with those I love,I have a some abandonment issues.I'm quite the control freak,with some minor anger issues.I love to write, read, and bake!

♡︎ matchup for @lunar-calliope

hello, dear! aah i'm also a virgo and an infj btw, what a coincidence c: i hope you enjoy your matchup!

hetalia: i match you with . . .

arthur kirkland !!

• Arthur is in love with your bold actions and choice of words! getting into a relationship with him means having to deal with honest and sharp-tongued comments. in other words, he needs someone who can keep up with him, aka you.

• you both prefer being reserved, looking for deeper connections with people instead of many half-baked friendships. you also understand each other very well, considering you both play the role of the responsible one in the group when you have the potential to be the most chaotic of them all in the right circumstances.

• you're also oddballs when it comes to your sense of humor. when you're joking around everyone just gives you confused looks while y'all are laughing your heads off. sarcasm, witty inside jokes etc. σ`∀´)σ

• it just seems to me you'd be on the same wavelength from personality to interests. you're the type of couple that gives the other one glance and the latter will immediately know what it means.

• i would love to think you met Arthur in a very elegant manner, where he was at his best gentlemanly behaviour. but we know the truth is that you caught him in the middle of one of his gremlin moments and swearing bloody hell at Francis (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

• not the best first impression, no, so you decided to have as little interaction with him as possible. but i think he was one of the few people who managed to change their image of them in your head. underneath that rough exterior he truly wanted to get closer to you.

• despite being quite distant, once Arthur opens up and lets you in he will cherish you for the rest of time! he has already lost so many important people in his life, he refuses to lose you too. . .

• this means that although you're rather stubborn, a bit temperamental and might get into heated arguments sometimes, you know the other well enough to acknowledge that's just how you are. give it a few hours or a day at max and Arthur is silently paying you'd accept his apology.

• Arthur himself is more into subtle but sweet displays of affection rather than showing off. he prefers going the traditional way and get you get you flowers, for example. also acts of service such as helping you clean the house or brush your hair are some things he highly values ♡︎

• when you show your affection to him, on the other hand, he might get huffy because he's not used to being treated with such open affection. he loves it and never wants you to stop.

• i am begging, please teach him how to bake. after your baking sessions together i imagine you two sitting in the garden and drinking tea. on the tray there would be a set of beautiful scones and muffins (yours) right next to the burnt bundles of unidentified matter (his).

• introduces you to his fantasy friends (though you can't really see them oof) and teaches you magic. now there's some writing inspiration for you! plus, he's very much into literature so he happily reads your works and gives you encouragement ♡︎

• a very assuring and supportive lover overall! though not always the best with words he never fails to make you feel loved. you can trust him to be there when anxiety gets particularly bad although it's the little things he does that make it easier to get through the days.

• your dates include afternoon tea times, reading sessions while comfortably leaning against one other and music playing in the background, museum dates, strolls through cities and countrysides, and concerts ♡︎

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

that one summer evening when you were walking back from a date. you had insisted you'd go on foot instead of taking a cab because of the crisp air and beautiful sky. Arthur was still a little nervous because it was one of your first dates so you generously switched the topic from classic literature to light banter. the atmosphere became lighter, so much even that you ended up playfully shoving each other until you both ended up in the nearby pond. you were soaking wet but laughing nevertheless. for Arthur, that expensive suit was definitely worth it.

— favourite activity to do together:

i love the idea that you're both always teaching each other something so i have to say that's what he enjoys best as well. you teach him how to make perfect cake batter, he teaches you embroidery. you teach him how to write your favourite genre, he tells you about the world of rock and punk music. it's fulfilling and a way to spend quality time with you ♡︎

— favourite place to kiss you:

ack this man loves nothing more than kissing your fingers and knuckles. there is just something so enchanting about them even as he watches you flip a page of a book or decorate muffins. although it's a common gesture of courtesy it has grown to have a very special meaning for the two of you.

— favourite nicknames for you:

darling, dear, love, sweetheart. these come as no surprise but Arthur does really find them fitting for you, sweet and classy. he sometimes adds my and your name to the beginning to emphasise the deep meaning they hold. "Lilly, my dear, won't you put down the pen and take a break with me? The weather is lovely, how about a stroll?"

— favourite thing about you:

how reserved but fun you are. how do i explain this? Arthur is someone whose personality has many layers and so are you. you are a complex person who can appreciate that trait in him as well instead of getting turned off when he displays the rougher side of himself. so your understanding, trust, commitment? i think you catch my drift (◕ᴗ◕✿)

♫︎ music box

— I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry

— Help! by The Beatles

— I'd Die For You by Bon Jovi

— Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

— Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

♡︎ runner up: Toris Lorinaitis

that is all! thank you so much for requesting and being patient with my slow butt! please remember to take time off to relax and drink water ♡︎

[punkscowardschampions]

Mia & Jimmy & Janis

Mia: [Computer Science project that you have to make a company/logo/business cards/spreadsheets/website/everythang you could think of so it takes a full term or whatever and you have to work with each other in every lesson] Mia: Right, I think we should do a law firm for our business Mia: because my dad is so we can actually use examples to make all our products legit Jimmy: what, like no win, no fee? 👍 can do a funny ad piss easy Mia: That is NOT the kind of lawyer my dad is Mia: funny isn't gonna get us good grades either Jimmy: 💔 Dunno who I'm gonna get to chase my 🚑 now Janis: I'm with Chuckles Janis: you're just trying to make this project most beneficial to you Janis: I don't wanna be a vulture when I grow up Janis: go generic as possible or it ain't fair Jimmy: don't reckon your dad needs the free promo any road, rich girl Jimmy: unless this is a cry for help that he can't get the prey Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Mia: Obviously I want to make it beneficial, I CARE about my grades and future Mia: but I'd love to hear your suggestions I'm sure Jimmy: you after a 🏆 or just a 👏 for trying to get an A? Mia: I get As, new boy, I don't just try Jimmy: I get it, you want 🤤😍 Jimmy: there Mia: Don't be so disgusting Mia: If you two are going to try and sabotage my grade, I WILL make my dad make Sir let me move Mia: I'm not being dragged down Jimmy: crack on, we've worked out your dad ain't busy with accidents at work Janis: Like, please try and use all daddy's clout to get that stubborn prick to do anything he's deciding he's not gonna do Janis: I already said I'd do this shit alone and no 🎲 Jimmy: don't sound like him that Jimmy: go on, rich girl, love to witness another failed flex Janis: You reckon we'd get extra points for fluffing our business expenses like your dad or what? Janis: I'll go along with it if we can convincingly hide our fake funds in a tax haven and make ourselves look LEGIT 👌 Jimmy: Me an' all Mia: You know as little about my dad as you do about your own, Janis Mia: you wish he was as crooked too but he's on the right side of the law so Janis: above the law Janis: can't do no wrong in your eyes, so I've heard Janis: but doubt new boy finds your family drama any more interesting than I do Janis: be a fucking law firm if you like, let's just split the jobs up equally and we don't have to talk until it's time to piece it all together Jimmy: I'll have the ad and the logo, tah very much Janis: you mean the fun bits Jimmy: I mean the 🎨 bits Jimmy: rich girl wants her A Janis: obliging Janis: I'll make the website and business cards, I've done it before Janis: Mia, do the data input, yeah Janis: star in Tarantino's ad, you'll love that Mia: No, no Mia: I don't feel comfortable leaving you completely to your own devices Mia: that's not a totally terrible split of the workload but I intend to oversee every step of the process Mia: we have to do a writeup at the end, you know Jimmy: it's almost like the other lass ain't as thick as you'd feel comfortable her being, funny that Mia: I literally want to do well and as far as I know, I'm the only one here who consistently gets good grades Mia: so hostile Mia: I agree that's how we should split the work but I'm not going to just assume you'll both do it well, we can all have input in every part Jimmy: could LITERALLY fill a book the size of sir's big head with all the shit you don't know about what I do well Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: watch me, if you don't get enough of it already, better uniform at work though, don't you reckon? Mia: Oh my God, brag much? Mia: hit the nail on the head with big head 🙄 Jimmy: stalk much? 🙄 Jimmy: least your dad could take my case Mia: It's HER sister that likes you, not ME Mia: get a grip and take it up with her if you're not feeling it Jimmy: I'll still give your dad a bell, chuck him that 🦴 as he's struggling Mia: As I said, he doesn't DO no win no fee, so you couldn't afford him Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Now we've established it's justice only for those that can afford it Janis: and rich girls can do whatever they want Janis: what are we doing first, oh mighty project manager Jimmy: I'll do the logo in blue, sounds about right, that Janis: #bluelivesmatter is already taken for a tagline but I'll get to thinking Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll have a think if I wanna use gold for her 👑 or silver for the 🥄 Janis: 🥄 might imply a problem with amphetamines and obviously, you want everyone to know you WORKED for that 💀🦴 all by yourself, you know Mia: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you Mia: taking over the family business, yeah? Jimmy: Oi, it ain't that grim up north Mia: Grim is right Jimmy: Gutted Rosso didn't make you feel like the WAG you deserve on your last visit babes 🤞 next time you'll spot them celebs Jimmy: or you'll keep to Bijou, that glam dress code would never do you dirty Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want me to make sure you're infertile Janis: all those cheat days and binges got you feeling unsure, no problem, just ask Jimmy: lend her the 🥄 Mia: You are both SUCH freaks Mia: what does any of that even mean Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: only a freak on the weekend, me Mia: NOT interested, new boy Mia: I HAVE a boyfriend who's a lot hotter than you, right Janis? Jimmy: makes two of us, rich girl Janis: For someone who thinks my bloodline is filth, you LOVE being surrounded by 'em, yeah Janis: bit weird but everyone likes their bit of rough Janis: how disadvantaged is your dad's newest mistress, I mean secretary? Janis: SO charitable 💙 Jimmy: might be northern, sounds like they've been there loads Mia: Are you gay, new boy? Mia: I'll have to let down Gracie for you Jimmy: only for sir Jimmy: he's well fit Jimmy: crack on with letting your bestie down though and if my mum's the one with your dad, tell her she left the oven on but I sorted it Mia: ??? Mia: What EVEN Mia: you're cracked Jimmy: brb gotta go dry my eyes Jimmy: 🐣💕 Jimmy: I do feel #seen tah for that, hun Mia: I can't even Mia: fine, you two come up with our company branding Mia: I'm going to write out all the info to put on our website when it's done Jimmy: Oi, bad blood, you wanna be the star of my ad or what? Janis: no Jimmy: alright, I'll ask sir Janis: good taste Janis: rinse her dad in a fight Jimmy: tah for the meet cute opportunity Jimmy: when he's her dad's new mr I wanna 🎥📸 the wedding Janis: awh, full ⚪ Janis: she'll look adorable in her flower girl dress Jimmy: 🤞 Gracie catches the 💐 Jimmy: she is on a lad hunt Janis: 🤞 Mia's da has a brother Mia don't also want to fuck Jimmy: don't leave us in suspense 👑 does he or what? Mia: Shut the fuck up or I'll show all this to Sir Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: he'll think I'm 😎 and I'll be well in Janis: Do it, little miss perfect Janis: the part where you shit on my dead dad's grave will be well more shocking when I open the floodgates 😭 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: ... Jimmy: ........ Janis: guess Sir won't wanna pet you no more when he finds out a. you're a cunt b. new boy is interested in your position Jimmy: he'll do til I can get Mr Lucas Jimmy: you can have him back then Janis: LOVE a happy ending Jimmy: I'll look top in my 👰 Janis: gutted about the lack of uniform though, yeah Mia? Jimmy: What do you make your boyfriend wear? 🦺? Mia: New boy, don't even go there 'cos he could beat you down so easy if I asked him to Janis: that means she pisses on him so they know he's hers Jimmy: makes sense that'd be your kink Janis: dog eat dog world, right babes Janis: stories you was raised on come straight out of your dad's man's man motivational speaker bullshit Jimmy: Oh shit, are you my half sister, rich girl? Jimmy: brb gotta pack my shit so I'm ready to move in Janis: get a princess dress to go with that 👰 Jimmy: order my 👑 in XXL tah Janis: can share with your sister Janis: big happy family vibes xoxo Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: get in here sis Janis: finally not a lonely child Mia: Yeah, I SO want 1000s of siblings like you Jimmy: You're alright, I've only got the one brother and the one sister Jimmy: be piss easy to fit us in your palace Mia: You AREN'T invited Mia: might steal the silverware 🥄🍴 Jimmy: I'll leave you a 🥄 to stick down your throat after dinner Jimmy: got some manners, me Mia: That's lovely, isn't it Mia: eating disorders are really serious, you shouldn't make some jokes Janis: respect the 🎨 Jimmy: cleaning the 🚽 after you lot is an' all Jimmy: part of the job description btw, I get that you'd have to have one to know what that means but Janis: 😏 Janis: staff know all your dirty little secrets, babes Janis: better than a tip, like Jimmy: be 👻⚰💀 before I get a tip off her Janis: if we were all walking 'round looking as SICK as her, what would be the point of corroding away her esophagus and not-so pearly whites? Janis: gotta find your own tricks, boy Jimmy: I'll put a ❄️ in the logo for you, babes Janis: cannot escape those coke vibes omg Janis: you're a PR nightmare Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: #whitelivesandwhitelines Janis: GREAT slogan Janis: basically done over here and you're just texting 💀💩 Janis: tsk tsk, Mimi Jimmy: tick tock or tik tok if you'd rather Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: make us a law tiktok, hun Jimmy: starring your dad, OBVS Janis: share that 🤤🤤🤤 with the world, not just the local 18-35s Jimmy: 💰 on him being a 🔥🔥🔥 dancer Janis: all middle-aged white men are Jimmy: DUH Janis: POV- you're my client, I'm overcharging you Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤😍😍😍 Mia: You're obsessed with me, I get it 🙄 Jimmy: busted Janis: If that's a crime Janis: get to spend more time with your dad than you do Janis: 💘 Jimmy: SO romantic Jimmy: 👨💕 Janis: can't wait 'til he wants a couple grams Jimmy: refill the silver 🧂 Janis: you know it Janis: sugarbowl never tasted so sweet Jimmy: 😋 Janis: careful Janis: her boyfriend WILL fuck you up Jimmy: I get it, he's obsessed with me Janis: can't blame him Mia: OMG Mia: that is soooo fucked Mia: know your family doesn't see blood relation as an issue but he'll 🤢 when I show him this Jimmy: if he's that bothered, he can come find me Jimmy: you've had my shifts memorised since I started Mia: You wish Jimmy: to give him a smack, yeah Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: sounds like a right knobhead Mia: [sends a picture of Pablo like he's a prize bull or some shit gross Mia] Mia: you reckon, do you? 😂 Jimmy: I reckon he looks like a right knobhead an' all now, since you asked Mia: You've got a deathwish like Mia: wow Janis: kindred spirits Jimmy: 'cause you reckon he looks like a knobhead an' all? that's just sense Janis: was talking about her eating disorder which is VERY serious and we MUST NOT joke about Janis: but yeah, the fuckboy radiating from that selfie must be the appeal Jimmy: Soz mate Mia: She doesn't DO boys, I'd save your breath Jimmy: weren't breathing down her neck, that's you Jimmy: I get why now though, it's a blatant crush Janis: Stalking's your kink, right babes? Janis: Or am I just that special Jimmy: [draws these gals as snowflakes holding hands but Mia is melting] Janis: That's good Janis: but horrific Jimmy: #allherkinks Jimmy: [doodles on the picture of Pablo that she sent in hilarious ways] Janis: 😂😂 Janis: Send him that, whilst you're at it, Mimi Janis: really get him 'roiding out Mia: 🖕🖕🖕 Mia: you're both jealous, both for weird freaky reasons Jimmy: Of what? Go on Mia: You're jealous because you think every girl here wants to ride you and I DON'T Mia: because my boyfriend is better looking and fitter than you 💁 Mia: and she's jealous either because she wants me or she wants her own brother Mia: either way 😷😷😷😷 Jimmy: if every girl round here wanted to crack onto me why would I give a shit if you do or don't? Jimmy: all your mates are fitter than you and they ain't close to this paddy school's top tier Jimmy: and you just said she don't do lads so why would she wanna have a go on her brother unless the steroids have fucked him up harder than advertised Mia: yeah 👌 narcissist Mia: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Jimmy: 🤞 it'll keep you well clear Jimmy: that'll do Mia: I want to be working with you as much as you do me, I've said Mia: leave me alone and this can be as painless as possible Jimmy: I get that you're fuming your boyfriend is growing bigger tits than you but that ain't my problem, my dear Mia: So immature Jimmy: still got a deeper voice than him Janis: imagine defending your man this hard when he fully cheats on you Janis: 💔 Janis: daddy all over again, am I right? Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Jimmy: Dunno what I'm more flattered by, that you reckon I'm gay after seeing the state of all the straight lads round here or not wanting to ride me 'cause I ain't a cheating dickhead with massive tits or in your dad's case a hair transplant Jimmy: either way, tah Janis: could donate some to the cause, new boy Janis: hair, not tits Jimmy: you could an' all Jimmy: cause a scandal Janis: #cancelling bitches is a solid hobby Jimmy: there you go Janis: can't lose my only beauty though Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: have to keep being #problematic yourself babes, so soz Jimmy: 👍 Mia: Stop nerd flirting Mia: send me what work you've done today Jimmy: Hang on, I'll 😎🚬 Jimmy: 💕 Mia: Gross Jimmy: What, I'm only fit and mysterious if I starve myself to 💀💀💀? Alright Jimmy: [sends her the work like oh I must be a nerd then] Mia: Thank you Mia: I'll go over this and give feedback later Jimmy: Gross Mia: 🙄 Mia: I've got to do a speech in Politics and Society after this, so I need to prepare Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 👋 Janis: pleasure as always Jimmy: bit rude if you two get to nerd flirt Janis: what's 'fuck off' in Arabic? Jimmy: تخلص من Jimmy: probably means ILY or some bollocks 'cause I google translated it Janis: beautiful Janis: love double-meaning Janis: Qué te folle un pez espada, new boy Jimmy: ? Janis: I hope you get fucked by a swordfish 💘 Jimmy: [draws their teacher, Mr Lucas, Pablo and Mia's dad all as swordfish so she can vote for who she ships him with] Jimmy: ✔ or ❌ Janis: [❌ out Pablo's eyes and Mr Lucas' junk like no] Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [does very unflattering drawing of Mia all up on her father] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: not an A though, is it Jimmy: [makes it even more unflattering somehow like now it is and now it's also teamwork so even better] Janis: 😏 Jimmy: LOVE a #collab Janis: been waiting for a group project to come along Jimmy: rigged it to work with 👑💀 obvs Janis: duh Jimmy: SO obsessed, her dad will get me off though, he can TOTALLY relate Janis: should but it in our ad Jimmy: 🔪🔪🔪🚿 Janis: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: Sir will kill that role Jimmy: Literally Janis: ha ha 🙄 Jimmy: Chuckles is right 🤡 Janis: keep 'em coming Janis: 👑💀 might have an aneurism Jimmy: 🤞 might get an A if she dies Janis: it's what she would've wanted Jimmy: you do love a happy ending Janis: who don't Janis: be my tragic family's fault, no doubt Jimmy: so I've heard Janis: not gonna apologize, new boy Jimmy: weren't waiting for one Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: please stop nerd flirting with me Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: calm YOURSELF down, mate Janis: did I fuck Jimmy: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [sends her a pisstake version of the logo to fully drag Mia] Janis: is it RGB #374E88 though Jimmy: what? Janis: it's called tory blue Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: [does a colour corrected version immediately] Janis: Better Janis: solid 🥇 Jimmy: Tah Janis: [the pisstake business card with the logo for her dad] Janis: we've absolutely SMASHED it Jimmy: I reckon we can go Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: [IRL 😘 to sir] Janis: [we're loving this so hard but gotta hide it] Jimmy: [strutting out cos bad bitch global] Janis: [when you wanna go for all the reasons but also the rumour mill would go off immediately so you're like hmm] Janis: [fuck your life amirite babe] Jimmy: [gutted we ever have to end this convo so same]

[gothify1]

For the record: I like my face, and I don't think it needs changing. But you know what else I like? Gorgeous, full eyelashes . I'm one of those girls who wear mascara to the gym. I honestly feel 100% more equipped to do life when I know those little hairs around my eyeballs are on point. Who's with me? Therefore, I'm a mascara enthusiast and have even tried my hand at wearing falsies on the daily. But I guess when it comes down to it, I'm just more committed to convenience than serving epic looks. I haven't dipped my toe into the more permanent solutions up to this point, partly out of fear of damaging my already-decent-looking lashes and partly because these things tend to be quite expensive and time-consuming. So when Sugarlash Pro , a company that specializes in lash-lifts and extensions, reached out with the opportunity to test its signature lash-lift service in the comfort of my office (where I spend more time than I spend at my own home), I jumped at the chance. Yes, this is essentially a perm for your eyelashes, but I'm no stranger to perms and hair treatments. I grew up in the 2000s when black women were all about relaxers, and, honestly, all kinds of women were still down with a good perm. (It was a wild time.) Could a lash-lift be the answer to that coveted I-woke-up-like-this confidence? Would it shave any time at all off my morning makeup routine? These were the burning questions I was eager to answer. Read on to learn all about the full experience from start to finish. I was instructed to come ready with a clean face and told that I would not be able to get my lashes wet for a full 24 hours after the lift. I did wear makeup that day since I had a few meetings and didn't want to look tired, so I needed to do a deep cleanse to make sure there was no trace of makeup left behind that might interfere. I dug into my collection of cleansers and grabbed three that would effectively remove every stitch of eye-makeup residue. And knowing it would be the last time I'd be able to thoroughly wash my face until the following day, I decided micellar water, a concentrated eye-makeup cleanser, and an allover foam cleanser were all necessary. Whether it's a one-step kind of wash or a three-step kind of wash, this Embryolisse micellar water is always in the mix. This targeted eyelash cleanser is perfect for removing even the most stubborn mascara, without having to rub too hard on the delicate eye area. This is my favorite cleanser right now because it delivers a thorough clean but never leaves my skin feeling dry or tight. Then came the actual treatment. My Sugarlash Pro technician showed up to my office carrying a folded-up table (kind of like a massage table) for me to lie down on during the service. The first step was to cover my bottom lashes with an adhesive eye mask to keep them out of the way. Then, she applied a soft silicone cover with a gentle glue on top of my upper eyelid to act as the apparatus for the perm. So far, so good. Next, the technician spread the same glue all over the surface of the silicone cover before brushing my lashes back and completely flush against it. A little curling rod at the base of the silicone eyepiece created the shape my lifted lashes would later mimic. Now that my lashes were plastered into the appropriate position, it was time to apply the actual lifting agent: three layers of chemical creams, which marinated for about 30 minutes altogether. Honestly, I think I fell asleep or at least slipped into a deep meditative state as I concentrated on keeping my eyes firmly closed. It wasn't uncomfortable at all, but I will say the smell caught me a little off-guard. It was similar to the familiar smell of a chemical hair relaxer because that's essentially what this substance is. After the perming cream was removed, I could instantly tell that my lashes had been altered. The second I opened my eyes, I could feel my them grazing the bottom of my brow bone, so I knew they were standing taller than usual. It was similar to when you open your eyes too wide with wet mascara on and you can feel the inky-black gel transfer onto your eyelid. So before I even looked in the mirror, I knew my lashes were, as the kids say, popping. When my technician handed me a mirror to examine my face, I was floored. My fringes were standing in full bloom like I'd just used a lash curler and a really good mascara. Overall, the lash-lift went off without a hitch, and I'm beyond pleased with the results. Although I don't feel like I could skip mascara altogether in my morning routine, I do see a major difference in my bare lashes. They look like they've been curled, even when I'm fresh out of bed. And as far as damage to my delicate lash hairs, I haven't noticed any. In fact, I've seen no change in the texture or health of my natural eyelashes. I'd caution anyone with highly sensitive skin to consult a physician before having their lashes permed, as the keratin cream used is pretty strong and could cause a reaction. Also, be prepared for some residual glue from the process to linger on your lids until you can go in with a real wash. I'm antsy, so I found myself picking at the stuff for 24 hours. The Sugarlash Pro team explained to me that the ideal candidate for a lift is someone who already has good length to their lashes, so that's definitely something to consider before taking the plunge. For a service that can cost upward of $150, you definitely want to be sure that the results will be up to snuff. There are Sugarlash Pro partners all over the world who can help you determine whether a lash-lift is the right solution. Maintenance-wise, I was advised that the lash-lift should last for six to eight weeks, meaning that I might be looking at two full months of beautifully permed lashes. According to my Sugarlash Pro tech, I'll know it's time for a touch-up when I see some of my lashes starting to revert to their original, less pronounced state. This OG lash-growth serum combines vitamins, antioxidants, and amino acids into a serum that promotes naturally longer, thicker-looking lashes. You'll have to be consistent about application, but the results are worth it. If dense, glossier lashes are on your wish list, you might consider adding this gel by Talika to your regimen. One savvy Amazon reviewer came through with the major pro tip to store it in the refrigerator, which helps preserve the natural botanical formula. While wax is one of the ingredients that help mascara stick to your lashes to make them appear longer and thicker, it can be a pain to remove. This formula by Maybelline is wax-free, making it much easier to remove. This is a cult favorite for a reason. Just one swipe delivers plush, voluminous lashes. Strip lashes aren't for everyone, but if you want a more dramatic look, and you want it now, these wispy strips will get you there in minutes. These premium silk lashes have quickly become a staple in the kits of celebrity makeup artists for stars like Olivia Palermo, Kate McKinnon, and Natasha Lyonne. They offer a bit more flexibility than your standard strip lash, and the strip is substantially thinner, too. Up next, the exact products hairstylists use on celeb clients for ridiculously shiny hair.